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Controversial Paddy's Day Irish Investigation of London's Racist Lord Mayor

London : United Kingdom | Mar 16, 2012 at 9:46 PM PDT

BY BrianClarkenuj

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Having commissioned an investigation on the Mayor of London Boris Johnson as a result of his insulting anti-Irish remarks and his cancellation of the traditional Saint Patrick's Day dinner in London, the following facts have been unearthed while Boris strongly denies being a child of Thatcher, although a long running paternity investigation called the Savile Inquiry denies having anything to do with a possible cover-up of Jimmy Saville being his real father. The background to the controversy is below.

"Meanwhile in London last night Boris was pacing up and down in open-fly readiness for his wet run for Saint Patrick's Day and spurted the vast contents of his outsize bladder high into the air, describing a golden arc from Aldwych in the South to the Caledonian Road in the North visible for miles around, as screaming Irish victims in Kilburn and Cricklewood tumbled from the upper deck of their buses above their head and floated downstream on the rising tide of Borismania pouring from the waterlogged pants of thousands of startled racist bigoted, Tory spectators, their urinary tracts blissfully relaxed by discharging pint after pint of pent-up pints down their sodden legs and into the swirling open urinal that was formerly called the Thames as they practiced their ancestry lineage for Paddy's Day.

To call the annual, self-financing, St Patrick's Day dinner "lefty crap" is both profoundly ill-informed and also an attack on Irish Londoners and their contribution to this city. Irish Londoners came together to celebrate the part they play in the life of London - and Boris Johnson has slapped them in the face. He is out of touch and ignorant of the facts.

"Boris Johnson’s Irish racism is no more acceptable than any other racism Ireland From the Guardian this morning: Over the years a range of individuals and organisations have worked positively in London to tackle myths, ignorance and prejudice about the Irish community. Yet in this week’s New Statesman, Boris Johnsonattacks a major, mainstream, Irish community event, the annual St Patrick’s Day dinner, as “lefty crap”, falsely claiming it was “£20,000 on a dinner at the Dorchester for Sinn Féin”.

The fact is that the annual St Patrick’s Day event was a self-financing community event attended by a wide range of Irish actors, politicians from many parties, community figures and celebrities, including Bob Geldof, the Irish ambassador, TV and radio presenter Dermot O’Leary and actress Pauline McLynn.

When Boris Johnson cancelled the annual St Patrick’s Day dinner in 2009 there was widespread disbelief about his decision. His remarks this week reveal what lay behind that decision. Many Londoners will be disturbed by the mayor of London’s contemptuous remarks about a community which has given, and continues to give, so much to our capital city."

The investigation however revealed that the former 'Jim Will Fix It' star 'used to stay with Mrs Thatcher' at Chequers along with speculation 'that one or both of them went nutz and that Boris birth on Saint Patrick's Day was hushed up'. Obviously Boris did not choose Thatcher as his Mama but why anyone on Planet Earth even Jimmy Saville chose Mrs Thatcher for a dirty weekend, is what political pundits are discussing about the situation.

While Johnson, 47, has not revealed the secrets of his blonde tresses the Irish investigation has revealed that his hatred of Saint Patrick's Day, the Irish, lefty Crap Sinn Fein and his banned Irish dinners at City Hall, is as result of his genes and his real birthday, which remind him of his Irish connection. Having earned the nickname BoJo its believed he inherited this from his real daddy, who jumped at the opportunity for eggnog under the mistletoe with the UK's former Iron Lady.

Johnson while being a bit of a tit, besides insulting the Irish also headbutts Germans in their bollocks while playing charity football also sets fire to his farts, after an unsuccessful colon operation to make it smell like daisies, failed. He also hates the people of Liverpool because he believes they are all chavs like the ethnics! He tried to snort cocaine but sneezed and played the harmonica with his balls instead.

He was suspected of being the biological father of Prince Harry but DNA test proved it to be Irish DNA, hence another motivation to insult the Irish. Boris's primary achievement as Lord Mayor is that London hasn't blown up yet, which has prompted some before the forthcoming May election to shout Go Boris! to which he has replied “The man's a fool. Wait a minute, isn't that me?” a quote from Boris Johnson on the absolute stupidity of Boris Johnson, along with “Oh Boris, you're such a massive twat.” as in everyone in London has to put up with his shit besides the Irish.

However the Eton Rifles say BoJo, former MP for Cloud Cuckoo Land, mayor of Toytown is a jolly good chap. A tit, but a jolly good chap old Boy!. Being the second most powerful politician in Britain, he will probably be the next Prime Minister, where he can intern all the Irish wearing green on Saint Patrick's Day without trial along with the already interned without trial Marian Price. Upper class twat Boris Johnson has expressed his delight privately with the internment of the Irish.

A spokesperson for Boris said "Boris is Boris, bloody good at tennis, can you smell daisies?" while Boris himself said young Brits, "should get off of their lazy butts, accept any job that is offered to them and stop blood-sucking the London County Council dry!" to which everybody replies "Get on your fucking bike you fat, snobby twat!" This Saint Patrick's Day, London will promptly sink into the sea. No-one is quite sure how this will happen but most people believe the theory that somehow Boris either will loose 'lost' the Thames Barrier or just 'break' London. Otherd believe that the Irish will use the Thames as a urinal with their urinary tracts blissfully relaxed by discharging pint after pint of pent-up pints down the bogs in the London Irish bars as a riposte to Borismania and earlier racist attacks flowing into the swirling open urinal that was formerly called the Thames as they practiced their own ancestry lineage for Paddy's Day. Many Irish people that "London under Boris could do with a good wash".

A former resident of Dale Farm has forecast that when Boris is lying on his death bed with congenital syphilis.....the devil will come for his soul as he is, after all, a Tory. The devil will say "I've come to take you to Hell!" - Boris, will reply terrified..."Crikey!, what are you saying?" .... "TO HELL!", shouts the Devil.....with Boris replying "Oh, what a relief for a terrible moment I thought you said HULL!"They even tried to lure me down there into a trap with chants of: "Would you like to take our sisters out for drinks?" and "Boris, please consider coming to visit Humberside, it's such a lovely place and we'd love to see you, you can all stay round ours"

Boris Johnson has secretly also won the role of "The Doctor" for the the latest incarnation of Doctor Who, after he loses the next election in May but he unfortunately has become pre-occupied by a squirrel having sex with a large swan. It is unclear if he has confirmed the role, but an emergency meeting of the UN to discuss the matter has given him the firm support of the US and several key European players, though France remains opposed, believing that Cameron is far more capable in this role.

Boris also plans to run for Mayor of Liverpool when he loses London in May saying "I....I...I..Believe, that, er..the thieving scumbags of Liverpool could use a man like me to...er....to bring Britain back from this torrent of Labour....and my drug....what's my policy on drugs again?" Despite his speech being well-received Boris still lacks the 10% in a recent opinion poll against dead comic Tommy Cooper.

It is believed that Boris will languish this Paddy's Day in a Bacchanalian orgy with his toga as usual strategically parted to enable kneeling football hobbit Joe Cole to administer his usual enthusiastic and skilful fellatio as a relief and escape from the constitutional peasants of London. The investigation is ongoing, we will keep you updated.

BrianClarkenuj is based in Bangkok, Krung Thep, Thailand, and is a Reporter for Allvoices.

ORIGIN OF SAINT PATRICK'S DAY AMERICAN FENIANS

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Sign up for our FREE Daily Email Newsletter Hunger: The Real Irish American Story Not Taught in Schools  By Bill Bigelow  March 15, 2012 "Huffington Post' -- "Wear green on St. Patrick's Day or get pinched." That pretty much sums up the Irish American "curriculum" that I learned when I was in school. Yes, I recall a nod to the so-called Potato Famine, but it was mentioned only in passing. Sadly, today's high school textbooks continue to largely ignore the famine, despite the fact that it was responsible for unimaginable suffering and the deaths of more than a million Irish peasants, and that it triggered the greatest wave of Irish immigration in U.S. history. Nor do textbooks make any attempt to help students link famines past and present. Yet there is no shortage of material that can bring these dramatic events to life in the classroom. In my own high school social studies classes, I begin with Sinead O'Connor's haunting rendition of "Skibbereen," which includes the verse: ... Oh it's well I do remember, that bleak December day, The landlord and the sheriff came, to drive Us all away They set my roof on fire, with their cursed English spleen And that's another reason why I left oldSkibbereen. By contrast, Holt McDougal's U.S. history textbook The Americans, devotes a flat two sentences to "The Great Potato Famine." Prentice Hall's America: Pathways to the Present fails to offer a single quote from the time. The text calls the famine a "horrible disaster," as if it were a natural calamity like an earthquake. And in an awful single paragraph, Houghton Mifflin's The Enduring Vision: A History of the American Peopleblames the "ravages of famine" simply on "a blight," and the only contemporaneous quote comes, inappropriately, from a landlord, who describes the surviving tenants as "famished and ghastly skeletons." Uniformly, social studies textbooks fail to allow the Irish to speak for themselves, to narrate their own horror. These timid slivers of knowledge not only deprive students of rich lessons in Irish-American history -- they exemplify much of what is wrong with today's curricular reliance on corporate-produced textbooks. First, does anyone really think that students will remember anything from the books' dull and lifeless paragraphs? Today's textbooks contain no stories of actual people. We meet no one, learn nothing of anyone's life, encounter no injustice, no resistance. This is a curriculum bound for boredom. As someone who spent almost 30 years teaching high school social studies, I can testify that students will be unlikely to seek to learn more about events so emptied of drama, emotion, and humanity. Nor do these texts raise any critical questions for students to consider. For example, it's important for students to learn that the crop failure in Ireland affected only the potato -- during the worst famine years, other food production was robust. Michael Pollan notes inThe Botany of Desire, "Ireland's was surely the biggest experiment in monoculture ever attempted and surely the most convincing proof of its folly." But if only this one variety of potato, the Lumper, failed, and other crops thrived, why did people starve? Thomas Gallagher points out in Paddy's Lament, that during the first winter of famine, 1846-47, as perhaps 400,000 Irish peasants starved, landlords exported 17 million pounds sterling worth of grain, cattle, pigs, flour, eggs, and poultry -- food that could have prevented those deaths. Throughout the famine, as Gallagher notes, there was an abundance of food produced in Ireland, yet the landlords exported it to markets abroad. The school curriculum could and should ask students to reflect on the contradiction of starvation amidst plenty, on the ethics of food exports amidst famine. And it should ask why these patterns persist into our own time. More than a century and a half after the "Great Famine," we live with similar, perhaps even more glaring contradictions. Raj Patel opens his book, Stuffed and Starved: Markets, Power and the Hidden Battle for the World's Food System: "Today, when we produce more food than ever before, more than one in ten people on Earth are hungry. The hunger of 800 million happens at the same time as another historical first: that they are outnumbered by the one billion people on this planet who are overweight." Patel's book sets out to account for "the rot at the core of the modern food system." This is a curricular journey that our students should also be on -- reflecting on patterns of poverty, power, and inequality that stretch from 19th-century Ireland to 21st-century Africa, India, Appalachia, and Oakland -- that explore what happens when food and land are regarded purely as commodities in a global system of profit. But today's corporate textbook-producers are no more interested in feeding student curiosity about this inequality than were British landlords interested in feeding Irish peasants. Take Pearson, the global publishing giant. At its website, the corporation announces (redundantly) that "we measure our progress against three key measures: earnings, cash and return on invested capital." The Pearson empire had 2011 worldwide sales of more than $9 billion -- that's nine thousand million dollars, as I might tell my students. Multinationals like Pearson have no interest in promoting critical thinking about an economic system whose profit-first premises they embrace with gusto. As mentioned, there is no absence of teaching materials on the Irish famine that can touch head and heart. In a role play, "Hunger on Trial," that I wrote and taught to my own students in Portland, Ore. -- included at the Zinn Education Project website -- students investigate who or what was responsible for the famine. The British landlords, who demanded rent from the starving poor and exported other food crops? The British government, which allowed these food exports and offered scant aid to Irish peasants? The Anglican Church, which failed to denounce selfish landlords or to act on behalf of the poor? A system of distribution, which sacrificed Irish peasants to the logic of colonialism and the capitalist market? These are rich and troubling ethical questions. They are exactly the kind of issues that fire students to life and allow them to see that history is not simply a chronology of dead facts stretching through time. So go ahead: Have a Guinness, wear a bit of green, and put on the Chieftains. But let's honor the Irish with our curiosity. Let's make sure that our schools show some respect, by studying the social forces that starved and uprooted over a million Irish -- and that are starving and uprooting people today. Bill Bigelow - Co-director, Zinn Education Project; Curriculum editor, Rethinking Schools "Skibbereen" By Sinead O'Connor.   Video embedded in this article by ICH Share Follow the discussion Comments (18) Sort by: Date Rating Last Activity Frank· 12 hours ago Contrast the treatment (or lack of it) with copious materials on the holocaust. Report Reply 1 reply · active 10 hours ago Ironhead· 11 hours ago "Let them eat their children. It will kill two birds with one stone..." Queen Victoria Report Reply 1 reply · active 8 hours ago hypatia· 11 hours ago then they had to go through the nightmare of ellis island and being checked for admission to the US, some being denied entry. There was no food stamps for the lucky Irish that were admitted into the US. No free housing and no free healthcare. Of any immigrants to the US, it was the people at this time that came here that I admire the most for their endurance and patience with the bigotry that met them by the WASP. They really had to fend for themselves, unlike the over-weight illegal immigrants of today that stand in grocery line ahead of you and whip out their welfare card to pay for their cart of groceries and then open their wallet brimming with 100 dollar bills to pay for the stereo and other non-food items (its like they want you to see all their cash, because they make a big effort to flash it around). There's been quite a few murders of whites of this magnitude and larger in history. Mostly it gets shoved under the carpet, but it's good to remember that victims of genocide and ethnic cleansing come in all colors. There was also the Russian one that Stalin did killing something like 20 million Christian russians. Humanity never learns. Pearson: Glad he brought Pearson up. Pearson is in the business of propaganda too. The 10th anniversary of 9/11 gave them the opportunity to make some big bucks: This article is from the now dead American Pendulum, which was destroyed by some sly ones. Used to be good site but they still have some of the old articles and this one is perfect about Pearson: http://www.americanpendulum.com/2011/09/01/pearso... here is Pearson's Learning Guide in PDF format: http://www.onlinelearningexchange.com/content/ass... Report Reply 4 replies · active 7 hours ago Chris & Mary Fogarty· 10 hours ago Grarifying to see this piece of truth-telling. For more see mywww.irishholocaust.org. Be sure to click on its map to learn which Brit reg't starved your relatives. Report Reply refirex· 10 hours ago Similar to the deliberate destruction of the buffalo in order to wipe out the plains Indians. Report Reply jan36· 9 hours ago Whats in these words ? famine / genocide maybe its blame or fault . I contest that prince-ably ittle has changed FOR THE BETTERMENT OF HUMANITY since 1840's. PRIVATE Corporate entities stalk and pillage the planet at will , programmed to maximize profits .Lying is '' the Art of spinning '' The avaricious is pure and in its core / heart a simplicity ,understood by all who breath or who wish to breath . I believe man is unique in the application of CAPITALISM . this capitalism is fueled by greed , Its principle enemy is community , The Irish peasants of 160 years ago we're superfluousness for a variety of reasons just like the present daily death toll of darker skins , racism is within the armory of capitalism, the Irish peasant we'er depicted in caricature as primates. i D'ONT HAVE THE ANSWER TO Hep INOCULATE humanity but i am understanding my enemy . Happy St Patrick's Day xxxx Report Reply Ron· 8 hours ago The hatred the British must have had for the very poor Irish they ground under their feet is something of a puzzlement. Food shipped from America by the Quakers was not allowed into Irish ports by the British. It had to be transferred to British bottoms before entry. God bless the Irish. I'm not one of them except in my heart. Report Reply VoxFox· 8 hours ago The English Ruling Class (& their American cousins) are a death-oriented group that despises everyone else on the planet - they have done so for hundreds of years, hence the British & then US Empires. These groups currently hide behind the mask of giant corporations. They need to be rooted out & thrown on the trash-heap of history. Report Reply Jake· 7 hours ago A good argument against textbooks. Many textbooks are written to please the big textbook purchasers (states that buy the same textbooks for all the schools in a state, like Texas). If they don't want something in it, it usually is taken out and vise versa. Then those same annotated texts are sold everywhere else. The good teacher doesn't rely on the textbook. He/she supplements with real world knowledge and truth as the author has done. That's getting tougher to do today with lock-step curriculum and standardized tests keyed, often, to the text. Report Reply Itsafluffy· 7 hours ago Super good to see this, being 5th generation Irish (and don't think the Scots-Irish, whether in Scotland or northern Ireland had it any differently...you do know that the majority of indentured servants in early America were Scots-Irish) and also Scots-Irish. Now, would ICH, a leftist site, mind telling the truth about how Stalin starved several million Ukrainians to force them into collectivisation in the 1930s? BTW, Stalin did what the Brits did: sell every last ounce of food confiscated from the starving Ukrainians abroad? It's okay, leftists, to tell the truth. Report Reply 1 reply · active 6 hours ago 12Next » Post a new comment Embed video Check Spelling Comment as a Guest, or login: Login to IntenseDebate Login to WordPress.com Name Email Displayed next to your comments. Not displayed publicly. 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